There seems to be an endless conversation about feminine energy these days. We're encouraged to become softer, more receptive, more sensual, and somehow less concerned with making things happen. Depending on who is offering the advice, femininity might involve surrendering control, slowing down, wearing something beautiful or learning to receive rather than give.
I find myself wondering when being a woman became something we needed instructions for.
There's nothing wrong with enjoying softness or sensuality. I love those things. But I also love the feeling of being strong, capable and independent. I love making decisions, taking risks and following an impulse simply because something about it excites me. None of those experiences makes me feel less feminine.
Perhaps what interests me most about the conversation is how easily we begin looking outside ourselves for permission to be who we already are.
We learn so much about how to behave through our relationships with other people. We notice what receives approval, what creates discomfort and which parts of ourselves seem easier for others to accept. Over time, these small adjustments can become so familiar that we stop noticing we're making them.
And then there are those moments when we find ourselves completely absorbed in something. Swimming in the ocean, dancing to music, lying in the sun or laughing so hard that we forget what we look like. We aren't trying to be anything in particular. We're simply enjoying the experience of being there.
I wonder whether that's what some people are describing when they talk about returning to their feminine energy. Not necessarily becoming softer or more receptive, but experiencing a little less distance between what we feel and how we allow ourselves to live.
Of course, that experience isn't uniquely feminine. And perhaps it doesn't need a gender at all.
I don't particularly mind what we call it. What interests me is how much of ourselves we hold back without realising it, and what becomes possible when we no longer feel the need to.
